It was confirmed today, Bill Gates is still free of corruption.

I guess that means that Steve Balmer will hold all the blame on the issues surrounding Microsoft now..EU inquiry, and all.

tech scandals

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My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past
year……..

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the
one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now
have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs
sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I
open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings
because I gave it to a sick girl(Penny Brown); who is about
to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

Actually, I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are
sending me for participating in their special e-mail
program. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants
to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost
relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214
angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has
granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing
deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot
day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get
answered if I forward e- mails to seven of my friends and
make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because
it can remove toilet stains. I no longer can buy petrol
without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial
killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug
me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer answer the
phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which
I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because
a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to
cause me instant death when it bites my bum. And thanks to
your great advice, I can’t even pick up the $5.00 I found
under the car as there is probably a sex molester waiting
there to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in
the next 7 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on
your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12
camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy
hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a
friend of my next door neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law’s second
husband’s cousin’s gay beautician.

By the way….a South American scientist, after a lengthy
study, has discovered that people with low IQ who have
infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with
their hand on the mouse. Don’t bother taking it off now,
it’s too late.

Have a rainbow day.

P.S. is this for real?

tech scandals

Debra Lafave has broken the terms of her probation. The somewhat cute Florida teacher who did the nasty with a young 14 year-old boy was found chatting with an underage girl about sex, high school and family problems. Police were called in, and Debra has been put behind bars while things are investigated.

Debra Lafave was convicted of lewd and lascivious behavior in 2005, and part of her deal was no contact with people under 18 years of age.

Celebrity Scandal, debra lafave

Jennifer Love Hewitt says being a size 2 is OK. Her recent bikini pictures raised a ruckus when everyone that she looked a bit larger than expected. But the reality, she says, is she is just a size 2, and the fascination with Size 0 in Hollywood is unhealthy. I agree.

I mean, I have seen some very tasty size 4’s out there, and size 0 usually means there’s less to play with.

Jennifer at the beach…

Celebrity Scandal, jennifer love hewitt bikini pictures

Don Imus, that hot headed and controversial yet lovable guy, is back on the radio! Yep, WABC has sucked him up and is ready to put the guy that called those long legged basketball playing girls at Rutger’s “nappy-headed ho’s” back in the hot seat on their morning show. Gotta love it! Tune into WABC in New York (god, I LOVE that town!) to hear the antics. New York’s WABC-AM is owned by Citadel Broadcasting Corp.

The lovable Don Imus (”The Don”) in the hot seat.

Hey get this - they hooked him up with Karith Foster, who could pass for a Rutger’s basketball lead!  Oh, the controversy!

Celebrity Scandal, imus in the morning, wabc

whud is reporting that schools throughout westchester and surrounding region are being hit hard by the snow storm.   Patterson Library is closed, but expected to open at 11am.  the Peekskill seniors nutritional center will also try to open at 11am.  Other emergency closures are being updated every 5 minutes.  Try to stay home if at all possible.

school cancellations, Uncategorized, whud